My wife reads Cosmopolitan, and she actually likes it! I tried reading it – well, wading through it. It’s a woman magazine! Jasus I wish I had known that! But still, I gave it a go – I wanted to get into that female mystery, her mind.
After reading about fourteen pages of adverts I got to the contents pages. This was a revelation in itself! How many times does a woman have to see adverts about a pair of knickers, perfume and a hand bag? And they were fold out adverts, not a full colour page adverts that would have any man drooling on Playboy – fold out double page ones!
There was one, right at the very beginning that caught my eye – it was about cars, so that was good.
So, after the contents I went on to see the next page because I thought ‘OK – here comes the juicy stuff’ – but no, it was more adverts for two more pages and then more contents. I was a bit sad at this point. So, like reading instructions I decided I would pitch my eyes on a page that was listed in the said contents. Page 194 it said on the front cover – but in the contents page there wasn’t a page 194! 193 was there – 197 was too – but no 194!? Well, as publishers publish magazines with numbers on the actual pages I scrolled through to page 194 and voilà!
I tried to read the relevence in what the front page had said in corrolation to what was actually on page 194, but I couldn’t work it out – at all!
Then, as my interest had been spiked I decided to scummage through the rest of the adverts and find something else to read. This was an eye-opener, ‘What men think after sex!’. Hold on a minute! Women are told in this magazine what men think about after doing the deed? Can this be right? NO, I say, so I read on. It was comical to read what these 20/30 year old men thought – and said to the woman they had just deeded! As copyright is copyright I have to ask you to buy the copy that I am speaking about – but if I had said anything that they did, I would not be typing with my fingers I so lovingly have attached to my hands right now!
Things have changed I supposed, younger men now tell Cosmo’ journalists exactly what men think and the Cosmo goes and prints it – make no wonder men are seen as dire, once pedestalled beings, women are now finding out that thinking about the match on Saturday to stop us deeding too quickly is a bad thing. Well, if you let the cat out of the bag I have no sympathy.
Now wait – which advert to read next!?